tragic flaw

A bad day
Luis Aguirre
1/30/10
“Bye dad,” said Dulce to his dad Manuel.
“Que les vaya bien,” Manuel said to his daughter and her best friend Estrella. Estrella’s dad gesticulated a wave happily to them they turned around and started walking towards the school. The school bell rang.
“Hurry class is about to start,” Ernesto said. Ernesto was the dad of Estrella. They entered the school not expecting that this day would not be even close to mundane.
“There isn’t that much gas left,” Ernesto alerted Manuel. “I think there’s a gas station a few blocks back,” Ernesto added. They turned around. Ernesto’s ears were in pain of the squeaking sound of the transmission moving it was like a teacher writing on a chalk board. “When was the last time you took this car to an auto shop?” Ernesto asked.
“I can’t afford a tune up now ever since the loss of jobs it has been really hard finding a job with good pay,” Manuel said. Many worries had been pressing on Manuel ever since he lost his job. He had been working as a construction worker, but all that was left now was becoming a farm worker. He knew that wouldn’t be good life for his daughter. She would have to leave school. If only there was a panacea for this.
He woke up out of the day dream when Ernesto said, “I’ll pay for the gas this time.” His friend had always supported him. He was in a much better position then Manuel he had a good stable job. At least he went to college. Ever since they had robbed Manuel and his wife things hadn’t been good for him. In 15 minutes they robbed everything he had accomplished in 15 years. Ernesto took out his wallet, it was full of money. Manuel took out his wallet only 17 dollars. Ernesto went to get a soda. Manuel said, “I’ll pay that, it’s the least I can do for paying the gas.”
“Ok,” said Ernesto. Two people came in. Manuel examined their faces. On the left it was a man with a cigar on his mouth. He had a scar through his neck. On the right it was a tall man with a ring on all the fingers of his right hand and a tattoo of green death on the back of his neck he stared directly into Manuel’s eyes. Fear swept through his whole body. There was something about that man that made him paralyzed. He had seen him somewhere, but where? Suddenly, they took out a gun.
“Give me all your money!” one of the robbers shouted
A few blocks away, Mrs. Garcia was giving a lesson about math. “Good morning class. Today we will learn the multiples of 2.” The kids were in a torpor. They thought math was boring. Who knows what 2 x 2 is?” A short amount of hands went up. “C’mon class we have been…” boom boom. High cracking sounds interrupted the teacher. The school bell rang. “Lock down,” the teacher shouted in a frightening tone. The kids could see through the window it was cops vs. narcos. The narcos were dominating as they had better guns. One by one the cops were losing. The kids saw that a narco was pointing to their window. “Get down!” The teacher shouted. The narco shot the gun it hit the teacher’s arm. The gun shots stopped.
“Did the cops lose?” Dulce said “Are you going to die?” The teacher couldn’t speak. The teacher was on the floor shouting in agony inside of her unable to stand up. “Get the first aid its next to the door,” the teacher said
She walked toward the door, a hard knock on the door roared.
“Open this door now!” a person shouted
“Hurry up,” the tattooed guy said to the cashier with his gun pointing at him.
The man with the scar said, “you too,” Manuel and Ernesto handed their wallets to them. Inside there were their ids, their pictures of their daughters, and their money. Ernesto had few secrets, but one of his most deep secret was his past job to pay his college. He was a security guard for one of the greatest narcos. When handing his wallet to the guy with the scar he gave it to the tattooed guy. When he turned around and to give it him. He hit him on the neck. He fell unconscious. The tattooed guy turned around. With his gun up, the trigger was being pulled back by his index finger the cashier tried getting him by the neck. Boom boom.
“Open this door!” someone shouted. Boom the handle went flying off whomever who was outside had shot it. The door opened slowly. Each second felt much longer than usual. It was like if time wanted to stop. The teacher’s eyes closed, this is the end she thought. Estrella saw the door opening slowly. Tears came out of her eyes. I’m going to die she thought. Dulce fell into a spell of fear. The room went silent all you could hear was the door moving. Blood starting coming out of the door it crawled under the floor like a tiger searching his prey. A person jumped out, and closed the door. It was a cop. All their worries fell so rapidly like a water fall. “Help me!” he exclaimed in pain. He fell dead silent to the floor. weeuuu weeu weeu!
“More police cops are coming, run!” shouted one of the narcos outside. Minutes passed when the ambulance took the teacher to the hospital. The principal came into the class.
She said, “Do these worksheets, meanwhile I’m not here, if you have any questions ask the teacher in the next class.”
The gun shot two bullets. The cashier fell dead in front on the tattooed guys shoes. He dropped their wallets. The wallets opened, each with a picture of their daughters together on the first day of school with the school in the background. A malicious smile formed in his face.
“It would sad if something happen to your daughters.” The tattooed guy said
“You wouldn’t dare” Manuel said with a frightening voice. The tattooed guy smiled.
“You took something important from me now I’ll take something from you.” The tatoed guy added. Manuel would have a lacuna in his heart if they ever took his daughter away. Manuel remembered his face. He had seen him in the hospital. They were going to give her wife a check of how their baby was doing. A person came in running into the hospital he saw the big line of people. None of them were as bad condition as her sister. She was carrying her in her arms. A poisonous snake that had bitten her. She needed an antidote she saw the first person, which was Manuel. “Can you please let me go in front,” the tattooed guy entreated. Manuel just ignored him. He tried cajoling with him."My sister is dying, please" he said.
“No, get in the back of the line and wait like all of us.” Manuel said. It was too late for her sister. The tattooed guy ran to his car. He turned on his car, and accelerated. I’ll get my revenge. He parked on the school parking lot then went to the office and asked for the girl in the picture he had to write his name on a piece of paper. Estrella and Dulce were working on the worksheets when a guy came in to pick them up.
They rushed to the school. “Has anyone came to pick our daughters up,” Ernesto said. The clerk replied with a nod, and pointed at a car leaving. They began to run. The car stopped on the red stop sign Manuel and Ernesto entered their car.
“Follow him and don’t let him notice us.” Ernesto told Manuel. They followed him to a big house in the woods. They hid in a bush to see what was going on. They saw a row of kids and three men. The fattest one looked like the boss. The others were the tattooed guy and the guy that they had knocked out in the gas station. He had woken up and escaped. The fat guy was shouting nonsense about making them get money for him on the streets, by begging for money. They entered the house again the kids were separated from the three men. “I'll call the police,” Ernesto said with a worried voice.
“I’ll go to try and save them,” Manuel crouched through the dirt. He got to the kids window. Ernesto looked that there was amen missing at the other room.
“Don’t move, “Ernesto turned around. “Remember me?” the man with the scar said. An anaconda crawled through the branches getting closer to the man with the scar. Ernesto saw it. “Any last words,” the guy said.
“Yup, look up.” The snake wrapped itself around him and began to squeeze him to death. He looked back toward the house a man was walking to the kid’s room. The men open the door and saw the kids escaping. They hit Manuel. Ernesto was on his way to the room, the police were only seconds away from the place. Ernesto had gotten the gun that the scar faced guy had dropped. Ernesto got in the room and shot the boss. Quickly Rafael got Manuel and pointed his gun. Police where surrounding the house with snipers.
Rafael said, “Let me go or I kill h…” a bullet crushed his ribs, and left an empty hole in his heart then escaped his body by breaking his spine. Manuel stood in amazement it took time for him to realize he hadn’t died. Rafael fell next to his only friend, his gun with hi last heart beats he rose up the gun and shot Manuel. Manuel’s eyes went wide open. Rafael dropped the gun. Death isn’t that bad he thought. Manuel was in the floor with blood pouring of his chest him.
Manuel whispered to Ernesto, “give her a life I could never of accomplished.” Slowly the shine in his eyes faded with a smile.


click here to see PDF Zine